i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
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There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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