Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
