if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
