There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
