i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
wrigley field is MILF paradise
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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