watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Will exercising make me less horny?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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