I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
ugly people sure do ruin things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Randomize