Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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