Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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