you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
