There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Just pee around me
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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