Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
