i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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