Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Randomize
