can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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