Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Can you bring me the toilet please
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The Olympian is in my bed
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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