don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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