My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
