Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
