Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
