So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
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