I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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