I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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