So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
