I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize