he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
