I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize