the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
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I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
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Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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