see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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