new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
