I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
