Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
