she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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