This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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