Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
