idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
