My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
