I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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