That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
