dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
