I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
