Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
