I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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