We named our party play list daddy issues
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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