I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
