she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
