So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
