i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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