My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
