apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
