But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I have surprise drugs for everyone
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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