The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
