they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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