so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
