The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
i think my cat just said my name.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
