You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
