i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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