Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
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