hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
