I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
