I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
