When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
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I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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