I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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